Essay assignment 2 : Mesopotamia and Egypt as civilizations

I’m trying to learn for my History class and I’m stuck. Can you help?

5 page essay for history read the assignment..the first essay got a 87 so I wrote the points my teacher said that she would like fixed.this is what she said…if you have any questions let me know

Thesis: 8.0 Organization: 9.0 Evidence: 9.2 Citations: 8.8 Writing: 8.5 Rachel, Overall you do well discussing the major differences in humans’ living patterns between the Paleolithic and Neolithic Ages, and you provide good evidence from the sources. The essay has good organization as well. Your citations are very good too, but please remember to include the correct page numbers from the textbook(s). The “100” and “75” were sample page numbers for the citation examples on the assignment sheet. My other recommendation is to make your thesis statement clearer and more specific so that your reader has a more precise understanding of your argument. Think of the thesis statement as your answer to the assignment question, or your argument. Specify what you believe were the major differences in humans’ living patterns between the P.A. and N.A.